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Pregnant and Unsure?
A positive pregnancy test usually brings out strong emotions ranging from joy to sadness, anger or even fear. Some women feel overwhelmed or numb. This brochure is designed for the woman who does not experience instant joy with the knowledge of a positive pregnancy test. If you are that woman, you will have many decisions to make in a relatively short amount of time. There are only four options:
- to continue the pregnancy and keep the baby
- to continue the pregnancy and give the baby to someone else to raise (permanent adoption)
- to continue the pregnancy and give the baby to someone else to raise until you can care for the baby (foster care)
- to have an abortion
An unplanned pregnancy may force you to prioritize your values. Many cultures and religions teach a deep respect for life. In addition, many women feel they have a responsibility to maintain a quality of life which may include financial stability, family values, health, education, and adequate parenting. An unplanned pregnancy may challenge these values and present a dilemma. Prioritizing these values is very difficult and may feel uncomfortable. It may become a "no win" situation which forces you to align with some of your values while going against others. In other words, you may need to evaluate which value is more important to you: life vs. quality of life.
In making any decision, you may want to discuss your feelings and thoughts with significant others in your life, i.e., your partner, family, friends, or religious advisor. If you continue to feel confused, you may want to discuss the problem with a therapist or someone else you trust. Medical Options has professional counselors to give you support so that you can make a good decision for yourself-one you can live with today, in one month, one year, and for life.
Think of the reasons you would continue this pregnancy. These reasons may include wanting to have a baby, or that your religious beliefs do not allow you to terminate a pregnancy, or your sense of morality would not allow you to feel like a good person after an abortion. Many of us were "unplanned" and, in most cases, our parents were able to make the best of things and eventually became excited about having a baby. We all have dreams and plans about how we want our lives to be. Sometimes we can change our plans and make new dreams. Can you? Can you make a new dream to accommodate this pregnancy? If the answer is "no," you may be recognizing the difference between an unplanned "surprise" pregnancy and an unplanned devastating one.
If you cannot ever imagine becoming excited about your pregnancy, you may want to use adoption services. In Connecticut, we have legal, open adoption which would allow you to interview potential parents and actually pick the parents for your baby.
If you are unable to care for your baby now, but expect circumstances to change in the near future, foster care would allow you to give your baby to someone else temporarily until you could arrange to care for the baby yourself. Foster care is like adoption except it is not permanent. All children need a caregiver who remains constant in order to develop trust and be emotionally healthy. Foster care should only be used for short term care. Your baby's emotional health is important.
If you are considering having an abortion, you may need to write down the reasons for not having a baby at this time in your life, under these circumstances. How will you feel after an abortion? How will you feel in five years or later in life? Will you be able to feel you did the best you could? If so, no one can expect more of oneself than the best one can do. But, if not, how will you resolve these issues? Many good and caring people decide to have abortions. It is important to be comfortable with your decision. Some women feel the decision to terminate a pregnancy is a good, moral decision. You may want to speak with a counselor to discuss these very complicated, personal feelings.
If you decide to continue this pregnancy, it is important to get prenatal care immediately. Do not use alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, or other drugs without instructions from your physician. If you normally take medication, consult your doctor. Start taking care of yourself and your baby now.
If you decide to use adoption services or foster care, Medical Options will be happy to refer you to an agency in your area.
If you have chosen to terminate your pregnancy, there are a few things you need to know. Abortion is safest when performed early. Medical Options performs abortions as early as 7-8 weeks from your last normal menstrual period and continues to provide this service into the early part of the second trimester. Vacuum aspiration is the type of abortion used throughout this period.
Many women want to have an understanding of the abortion procedure, therefore, an explanation is provided below. However, please feel free to ask any counselor to discuss the procedure with you.
THE ABORTION
The abortion is performed by a Connecticut licensed OB/Gyn physician after your chosen form of anesthesia is administered. Before the abortion begins, an ultrasound and/or pelvic exam is done. The opening to the uterus is gradually enlarged to allow a small sterile tube to gently remove the pregnancy via suction. The entire abortion takes 3-5 minutes and may be painless or accompanied by mild to moderate cramping.
RECOVERY
After the abortion, you will be wheeled into a comfortable area where you may relax and have light refreshments while being medically monitored. Aftercare instructions are reviewed and you will probably be discharged within 45 minutes. We recommend rest and relaxation for 24 hours. After that time, all normal activities may resume except: no sexual intercourse, douching, or tampon use until your follow up appointment 3 weeks after the abortion either here or with your referring agency or private physician.
Pregnant and Unsure? / How You Can Help / Your Daughter’s Abortion